woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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