i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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