He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
