I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
