my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
