Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
