We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
