We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize