he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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