fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
