Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
