Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
