The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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