it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
