You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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