Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
