Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We named our party play list daddy issues
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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