we're blogging at a bar
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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