the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
