So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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