god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
