The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
