Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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