I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
It was confusing and full of hummus
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize