Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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