Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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