WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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