is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
