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too bad you live with your parents still
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
