If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
