You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
