i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
