maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
