Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
