I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
