No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
