The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
cat food counts as protein by the way
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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