I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
