Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Randomize
