You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
