maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
