Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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