Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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