sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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