we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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