I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
