Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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