Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
