Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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