u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
