i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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