just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
it's great music for shaving your balls
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
They have beer where we have blood.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
