Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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