Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize