I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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