There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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