Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
