Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
