dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
operation have a gay friend backfired
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
