The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
