don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The adults are the big ones right?
wow bdsm is so cute
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
