I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
