I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
