Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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