then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
you made out with another girl for some wings
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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