i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
