I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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