Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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