11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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