Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
