Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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