so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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