I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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