No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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