I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
