i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
