I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
