Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
