He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize