Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize