And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
and she was petting her beer can
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
