What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
