false alarm. still invincible.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
