its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I wish they made helmets for livers.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
