thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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