ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
