i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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